


You called me back from darkness

by Skylocked



Series: 00QAD Tumblr drabbles [3]
Category: 00QAD, James Bond (Craig movies), London Spy
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 16:18:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5792311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylocked/pseuds/Skylocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At times when the painful memories of his job become too much, the only one who can pull him back is the person who is just as broken as he is.<br/>Tumblr ask drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You called me back from darkness

**Author's Note:**

> **OHTOOMANYFANDOMFEELS ASKED:**  
>  *ahem* I saw a post about how James could comfort Alex because as stern as he could seem, sometime the pressure of his job (death and blood) could be too much and I imagine Alex in the shower and James coming in caressing him ever so slightly to stop his slight shakes and shivers...

_**Blood, fire, faces contorted in pain**_ , and screaming, endless, horrifying, hair raising screaming.  
The images played in his head over and over and over again and he could not stop them.

No matter how long he’d been in this business. No matter how many times he’d seen the same disturbing pictures,  
how many times he felt himself pull the trigger and get blood all over his hands, he could never get used to it.

He held a hand over his mouth as the bile rose from the pit of his stomach.  
His body convulsed as his legs gave out and he fell on his knees,  
water splashing out onto the bathroom floor. Tears began to swell on his eyes,  
their sting only barely noticeable under the heat from the water spray.  
The water falling on his body was one too many degrees hot causing the steam to fog everything around him,  
and yet he felt cold as ice.

Alex closed his eyes, tried to shut their voices out, to get rid of the images. 

_**Three point one four, one five, nine two, six five, three five eight…nine… seven, nine three…two…three…eight…**_

There was blood in his hands and his face and everywhere…

_**…four six, two six, four three…three…**_

So much blood… it wouldn’t go away…

_**Stop. Make it stop. Please make it stop.**_

_…eitgh three, two seven, nine five, zero two, eight…eight…four…one…_

There was a hand on his shoulder. Alex twisted in pain and anger,  
blind to anything else but to blood that made everything crimson red.  
They had come for him, they’d found him.

_**…athe… Alex**_

That voice, he knew it, but it was far away, like it belonged in a dream.  
The echo was there, but the screams were louder, thundering in his ears like the hammering of war drums.

_**Alex! Breathe!!!**_

…water, sky… the ocean, it was blue, so very blue…

_**James…**_

Alex heard his own voice as if it were coming from somewhere else,  
saw James speaking to him but couldn’t hear what he was saying…

His heart was beating in his chest as if trying to escape.  
His body trembled and trembled and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.  
He didn’t have control over anything.

James lifted him up, held his face…

_**…lex, it’s ok, it’s not real. Alex, look at me. It. Is. Not. Real. You’re here, you’re safe. Breathe.**_

James hands on his face and the blue of his eyes finally put an end to the blood staining his vision.  
Alex gasped for air and met water invading his mouth, he coughed and held on to James for support.  
James held him tight, clothes getting wet under the heavy spray of the showerhead.

Alex sobbed and shivered and tightened his iron grip on James’s arms,  
There would be bruises soon. James didn’t mind.

_**James… there was… I couldn’t…**_

James pulled him into a comforting embrace running gentle fingers through damp hair and rubbing slow circles on his slippery back.  
Alex closed his eyes, inhaled, exhaled, and inhaled again; James’s grounding support beginning to calm him down.

_**I know, love. I know. It’s fine, you’re fine now. I’ve got you.**_

Alex relaxed under James’s touch, the hammering in his chest coming to a rhythmic throb.  
His body still shivered but not from cold, not anymore,  
and Alex was glad James had been the one to find him this time.

James understood, he knew what it was like, the nightmares haunting your mind even when awake. 

Alex thanked the higher powers that neither Danny, nor Q were home yet.  
He would never want them to see him the way James had.

_**…thank you, James.**_ Alex said softly, face still pressed against the other man’s chest. 

_**…for pulling me back from the darkness.**_ He left unsaid, there was no need for words between them now.

James kissed the top of his head, caressed his back lightly.

_**Always love, always…**_

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something with the formatting for drabbles. Not sure if i like how it affects the flow of the writing. Idk


End file.
